Jeb Bush promises ‘no more baby talk’ in 2016 run

SAN FRANCISCO – Jeb Bush announced his likely presidential campaign ideas, delivering an address that covered the economy, foreign affairs, energy exploration, and generally challenging the country to question “every aspect of how government works.”

In addition to the core topics his campaign platform will cover, the Republican former Florida governor has pledged to stop having these conversations in baby talk.  In past speeches, debates, and Q/As, Bush has frequently delivered his ideas on government and policy-making with a high pitched voice, foregoing real words with those that only infant or a person speaking to an infant would use, and in sentence fragments that were often nonsensical.

Bush says it is time to be taken a bit more seriously in politics, though has admitted to his apprehension in giving up his iconic speech delivery methods.  “When I got into politics, I knew I would be kissing a lot of babies,” the potential presidential candidate recounted, “so I thought I’d take it one step further and start talking like one.”

“It’s no secret that Jeb’s unique baby talk speeches have largely contributed to his success as a governor,” George H. W. Bush, brother of Jeb Bush, commented.  “But that’s just not enough to become president.  He’s got a lot of good ideas, like his immigration reform that will provide a helpful path for immigrants to gain legal status in the US.  But nobody can understand him, much less take him seriously, when he announces his reform as a ‘blankie for a widdle owie’”.

Jeb Bush added to his promise that instead of baby talk, he will conduct all his speeches and public conversations talking like a moody teenager.

Original Washington Post Article – Jeb Bush previews 2016 run, promising ‘adult conversations’ on big issues